5 Laws of Sleep Deprivation and Awesomeness

It has come to my attention that there are people wandering around out there that are unable to cope with a lack of sleep. For those insomniacs and narcoleps out there, these Laws do not apply to you. You have your own set of rules.

5 Laws of Sleep Deprivation and Awesomeness

1: Law of Compact Awesomeness - Less is more in this Law. Those of us that are of a compact stature (EG: Short and stocky) are able to compress more awesome into a smaller frame. If you are tall, lanky, thin, or huge, you may be out of luck. You must be able to compress a lot of awesomeness into a small space to achieve maximum Sleep Deprivation (Also known as "Epic Night Syndrome)

2: Prioritization Law of 1986 - This Law states simply, "Your love of Awesomeness must be greater than your love for unconsciousness." By adhering to this law, you will place events of the epic nature higher than sleep on your list of what is important to you.

3:  The Coffee Non marginalization Standard -  If you do not love coffee, you are, by default, not awesome. Coffee is Ethiopia's gift to the world. Coffee is how we know God loves us. Coffee can cure cancer (I'm not 100% on this last one.) You must be awesome to live a sleep deprived life and Coffee is therefore a must. Oh, and medically speaking, it has a crap ton of Caffeine and that seems to help as well.

4: The 12AM Paradox - My mother once told me that nothing good happens after 12am. But to be fair, of all the funnest things I do, very few of them could be catorgorized as "Good Ideas". Ergo, since staying up late yields a more positive environment for fun ideas, the margin for awesomeness goes up drastically. Since most of the world works during the day, we must also be up before 12am. Therefore, leaving little time for sleep.

5: The Erickson Effect -This law states that people related to, friends with, fans of, or members of the Erickson Family have a 97% success rate when trying to achieve maximum Sleep Deprivation and Awesomeness. Now, this Law does not exclude people outside this group, but it does lend creedance to the fact that your chances for success skyrocket if you are a member of the "People related to, Friends with, fans of, or members of the Erickson Family" group.