Ninja's and Awesome

It has recently come to my attention that there is a woeful lack of respect for my complete repertoire of both Ninja related facts and individual Ninja skills. Why, just 2 days ago, I myself leaped into and climbed a tree that did not have one single branch within 87 feet of the ground (This number maybe the result of minor hyperbole, give or take 84 feet). How did I accomplish such a feat? With Ninja skills, that's how. 

I believe this lack of faith in Ninja Related Awesomeness and Destruction (more commonly referred to as NRAD) is far more widespread than my personal sphere of influence, which, as luck may have it, is quite girthy. I have compiled a short list of facts and NRAD that may help you more fully understand the Awesomeness of the Ninja, and by proxy, me.

According to The Official Ninja Webpage "Real Ultimate Power", (http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm) here are some facts about the common Ninja.

FACT:

 1.Ninjas are mammals.

2.Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

I, Myself, like to add the following facts: 

4: Han Solo was a Ninja.

5: Ninja's are completely capable of killing a Velociraptor with their bare hands.

6: Every Ninja is an excellent lover, yet not all excellent lovers are Ninjas. (See Greg Gorham for details)

Read this true life story by a guy named Rob who is a published author (Blog owners are publishers right?) in the Official Ninja Webpage. "I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window."

This harrowing tale reveals that not only are Ninjas awesome, they also are very willy nilly about killing, death, destruction, and Roller Coasters. Although, I still am having a bit of trouble confirming that last one. 

If you do a top secret NORAD Search for Ninja Facts, you will also find that Ninja's are among the most charitable givers in the world, are usually quite skilled in the art of lumber jacking, and have among their midst the likes of: Chuck Norris, Fred Astaire, Patrick Swazi, Jimmy Hendrix, and Mia Hamm.

Ninja's are fast, cool, smooth, strong, powerful, and sweet according to Real Ultimate Power, the website. I am not sure if you could fathome, a more accurate depiction of me. I am infact quite fast. Just the other evening I cooked an omelet in about 5 mins! Cool and smooth? I both found my wife and sealed the deal within 8 months. Yeah, thats right. Strong, Powerful, and Sweet are pretty much like, my most common traits. So, I think I formed a pretty iron clad case as to why I am a Ninja. 

In conclusion, Ninja's are awesome.

PS: I play the guitar.